hey. I’m sorry I haven’t written a blog in a month. Africa is a lot slower than Costa Rica. I have hours, days even to sit and think and be with the Lord. Something that I need and want, but when you sit with the Lord he grows you and growing is hard, so honestly Africa has been hard. I’m learning how to earnestly seek him. I have never been this close to him in my life. I’m excited for what he is doing in and through me. Anyways, that’s a different topic, if you want to know more about what the Lord has been teaching me specifically please don’t hesitate to reach out, and once I figure it all out I’ll probably wrote a blog about it. So, that’s where I’m at.
Now for the story:
one day my team went to an orphanage about 5 minutes from our house. We step into this orphanage which is just a house with 4 children. We say hi, all pile into a van and a few minutes later we are on the beach. 8 girls and 4 kids that didn’t know how to swim. The kids were shy, but one girl, pelokazi, gravitated towards me. I couldn’t tell you why. Maybe because I waved at her and told her we were homies, but I don’t know. Anyways, pelokazi and I sat on the beach and just got to know each other. We talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up ( she wants to travel to India and be a doctor, I want to go to college....you're welcome), what our favorite animals were (she likes puppies, I like whales) and what we wanted for Christmas ( she wanted a necklace with a red heart on it, I wanted to call my parents). We became pals. I haven’t connected with a child like that on the race thus far. She was special. I loved her and she knew it. Anyways, our day came to an end and we had to go home. I ended up giving her one of my rings as a Christmas gift and as a symbol of our friendship. I said goodbye to her and left expecting for her to forget me honestly and for that ring to be found on the ground. Not that she would do that, I just didn’t know if she reciprocated that love that I felt for her.
Each of the 3 teams that live at GLA went to the orphanage and played on the beach with those kids that week. At the end of the week, the last team had gone and as they were talking about their day it came up that Paige had a story to tell me. What she told me was that basically she was talking to pelokazi about best friends. Pelokazi had asked Paige if she had a best friend. She said yes and asked if she had a best friend. She said “yes, her name is hallie”. She was also still wearing her ring. I cried.
This may not sound like a crazy story. “Wow, another cute kid story, how missionary of you hallie”. yah I know, let me explain.
My whole life I have struggled with the concept of a best friend. I always wanted one soooo bad, but I was always let down by the friends that I had labeled as my besties, so I just stopped doing it. In doing so I labeled myself as unworthy of a good friendship and got scared when I got close with someone. I still don’t use the label. Pp
I didn’t realize how much this hurt me until I got onto the race. Everyone on the squad had a best friend and I felt left out and unloved. Honestly, it hurt me a lot and I struggled with it a lot the first month. It is something that I still struggle with. I am learning that the void that I feel for a “best friend” can be filled with the Lord, and when I do that I will be whole.
Anyways, when this happened with pelokazi this was something that I was struggling with a lot. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of a best friend, but pelokazi came along and showed me that I was. She made me feel seen and loved in the way that I always desired in a best friend. Pelokazi was a reminder of the Lords love for me. He knows the desires of my heart and wants that for me. He wants me to have a best friend, as long as he is first.
I hope that made sense.
Pelokazi and I now have best friend necklaces. It’s a necklace with a red heart on it.
Also, I am fully funded!!!! Thank you soooooo much for everyone that has supported me in this. You have taught me a lot about giving and generosity. I am thankful for each and everyone of you.
